Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
