I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
