Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
