My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
