She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
