Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
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If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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