I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
