I'm really into asian looking animals
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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