i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
