I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
