Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
