He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
