I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drake has all the answers
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize