I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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