So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
