I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
