Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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