I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize