At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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