just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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