it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
