we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
