I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's just like the Real World with babies
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
