Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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