At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
