I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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