Is it normal to miss your booty call?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
