The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
