dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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