i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
