Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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