remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
