Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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