my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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