oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
