i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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