i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
