I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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