??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
