So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
don't judge my taste in strippers
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
