wrigley field is MILF paradise
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize