I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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