i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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