So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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