you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
In other news, I just burned my penis
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
