What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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