Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He told me they were just razor bumps!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
