you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
