I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
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There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
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We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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