we're blogging at a bar
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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