someone owes me an orgasm
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
