drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
