Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize