Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
