Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
