i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
