I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
