Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
