He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
