I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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