Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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