Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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