I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
