Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
