its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize