hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Houston, we have a squirter
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
